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Haven't You Popped Yet? And Other Unsafe Questions To Ask An Expectant Mother

Bai antioxidant drink
"It was... soap... poisoning!"

If you ever wondered what smelly soap tastes like without actually having to taste it (think "Soap... poisoning!" from The Christmas Story), just sip this. I drank the entire bottle, but it did remind me of a berry-scented glycerin.

My pregnant sister works with me. She's the one who gave me the soap drink today. Everything is making her feel icky.

Expecting a baby brings out the best and worst in people.

Smart people--those who want to live--express well wishes to the mother and child, or they just shut their mouths.

Un-smart people--those who can't sense impending doom--say all manner of drivel unsafe to utter to an expectant mother with raging hormones.

What drivel?

  • Don't you know what causes that? (In what world is this a classy question?)

  • Are you nuts? (For bringing a child into a home with a married mother and father who earn their own living? No.)

  • Are you having twins? Triplets? (Yes, I've been asked that before--multiple times.)

  • How many months along are you? 15? (Feels like it. Punching you induces labor though.)

  • Let me tell you about... (Tells all sorts of scary stories about everything that could possibly go wrong.)

  • You'll never sleep again. (I really needed to hear that.)

  • Make sure you eat your vitamins. (You mean the ones that make me throw up?)

  • You know, they say you should only gain 25 pounds. (That's what I gained each trimester--without eating everything in sight. Thank you for the advice.)

  • Haven't you popped yet? (This was hollered at me loudly across the church auditorium. Years later, I still have a hard time being gracious to that person.)

  • Only horrible parents ________________. (Fill in the blank with breastfeed, bottle-feed, follow a schedule, don't follow a schedule, stay at home, work after having a baby, etc.)

That list could go on endlessly. The result of hearing all the "advice" is that the new mommy feels conflicted, overwhelmed, and lost before the baby even arrives. Crazy.

Just let the mom- and dad-to-be enjoy the anticipation of a new little one. Offer to help in ways that might be appreciated by the couple. Express joy with them.

They have already imagined all the things that could possibly go wrong.

They are torn about just how to raise their baby.

They have hopes and dreams for their little one, and they don't need to be reminded that their baby will go astray at times.

Each phase of parenting has particular joys and trials. Parenting is hard for everyone. No child comes with a specific training manual. (Yes, we have the Bible, but I mean "how do I handle so-and-so when the mouth just won't quit?")

One thing I did hear all the time, and it rings true, even though it's worn out, is that the time flies. The days are long, but the years are short.

My children are 9- and 11-years old now. Where did the years go? We have snapshots of them in photo albums, and etched in our memories, but time will go on without a pause.

Don't wish away the time. Enjoy it. Learn and grow through it. Laugh in the middle of it.


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