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Why Do Women Cry?

Kris, my husband, would say that question can never be answered. And any further comment is in the danger zone.

Men may never understand this, and they don't have to, that women just need a good cry sometimes.

Maybe nothing is notably wrong for her. On the flip side, there are times the greatest physical/psychological trials produce no tears whatsoever. She just keeps a clear head, solves the problem, then goes about acting on the knowledge.

Maybe she is lonely, sad, or grieving.

Maybe she has worked and child-trained and cleaned and served all day, but nobody can see that she did anything because the house is a wreck again... and the kids are fussy and dinner isn't ready. (This would be a good time NOT to ask what she did all day; just start vacuuming.)

Maybe she just feels the weight of _______ resting on her shoulders.

Maybe there is other pressure: deadlines, kids/family needing help, bills or other money pressure, house projects, house work, work-for-pay work, other people's expectations.

Just to knock this point out of the way first: be careful of other people's expectations. If you promised to do something, do it. If you can't, let the other person know so other arrangements can be made.

Make sure the expectation is a valid one before just assuming it.

Just because it's expected doesn't make it count. Not everyone gets that privilege, though there are some reasonable cases. Parents and teachers make expectations of children. Bosses make expectations of employees. Any legal or financial transaction has expectations. There are societal expectations of common courtesy, driving in the proper lane, stopping at the lights, not running over people, etc.

But what if your sort-of acquaintance expects you to _______ just because they need a warm body to fill that position? What if your family or in-laws expect something outside of your boundaries, and you know they'll throw a hissy-fit if they don't get their way?

Check with your boundaries before you just assume somebody else's expectation of you.

Now, where were we? Talking about why women cry?

Crying is a pressure valve.

If your lady needs to cry, just let her cry. It relieves pressure. There doesn't have to be a logical reason to cry.

If you couldn't guess already, my day had a good crying spell at the end when I saw how short I fell of my expectations, plus it was just a complex day with the different personalities in our family.

And I feel better now. But if the crying hadn't happened, I would have stuffed it all inside, gotten mad, slammed a few doors, and wondered why my family always scatters from me when I need help with the house.

As it is, the crying took the mad part away, so when I finished sobbing and schniffling, I could speak calmly about what was on my mind.

Maybe I need to adjust expectations, some off myself and onto my able-bodied, sound-minded family, and some to be a more realistic version of the expectations I place on myself. (Actually, I'm scared silly of being lazy, so setting lofty goals keeps me going in the unlazy direction.)

Sigh. You can see I'm a work in progress.

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