My brother's funeral was on Thursday. Only immediate family and 4 close friends were in attendance because of crowd restrictions at this time.
I've cried buckets of tears this week, and the funeral triggered another bucket. We all are left with the wish that we would have done this, or that, been a better brother/sister/father/mother. There could easily be no end to that train of thought.
Monica, my sister-in-law, perfectly concluded the thought, though. She struggled with the same feelings after losing her mother, but one day, she realized that her concerns don't matter to her mother anymore. Her mother isn't in Heaven thinking about all the ways she could have been served better on Earth.
Neither is Jordan, my brother. He is rejoicing! The chains of physical disabilities are gone! He has freedom that he never knew here in this world.
Instead of piling on the guilt of what-ifs and if-onlys, we should steer that thinking into loving and serving the ones who are still here with us. Take time to write a note, make a call, take a meal to a family who needs it, speak kindly to strangers in the grocery store, and smile at people. Show them that they matter.
Don't forget the ones nearest and dearest in our homes. It's easy to take people for granted when we're with them all the time. (I'm talking to myself here.)