Not Buying Into Roller Coaster Feelings

Feelings are a roller coaster; roller coasters move. Reality is a column; columns stay put and hold up a building.

Not every day is hunky dory. Today, I felt like a failure mostly.

I was reminded quite often by my children just how much they hated coming into my shop with me. Apparently, it ruined their day, and they couldn’t believe they had to do it. Why did I have to sew all those dresses? Why didn’t I have better things for them to do?

I’ve been told quite often what a boring mom I am. No fun at all.

I should have been much farther ahead in my work than I was. Fail.

I should have more order established in the house. You know, everyone automatically picks up their trails and helps around the house because they are able-bodied, live here, and want to contribute to the well-being of our family. Instead, it sometimes looks like a tornado landed here then came back for seconds.

I butted heads most of the day with a very stubborn family member who is still learning how to respect elders. (That means one of my kids was running his/her mouth.)

Kris and I were supposed to have a campfire or movie date at home tonight. Guess who is sleeping? I was almost asleep, too, by 9:00, so I can’t be very upset.

There’s more, but you get the picture.

Am I going to believe I’m a failure just because I feel like one, or someone tells me it’s so?

No!

The existence of a feeling doesn’t mean it points to reality.

I feel like a failure today, but I’m not in real life.

I feel like the most boring mom in the world, but my kids still love to snuggle up to me. They know they’re loved.

I feel like a boring wife when 9:00 is getting a bit late, but…

I feel like a failure in parenting, but my children eventually come to me of their own volition and apologize when they’ve been wrong, and vice versa. I’m gifted with occasional glimpses that they really are listening to Kris and me.

Feelings are not a solid measurement of reality. They come and go.

How I respond to those feelings is where the hard work of growing up happens. Still working on it.