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How To Be a Perfect Mom

Mother and child
A perfect mom from

My sister has much to do with compiling this list. She has 4 children. The youngest is 2 1/2 years old, very opinionated and very active.

We were giving each other tips on being the perfect mom, tips that are oh-so-welcome to tired, exhausted, overworked moms everywhere.

In no particular order, please enjoy and learn how to be the perfect mom!

  • Always plan meals. Every single meal. You're basically awful if you don't give prayerful thought to every single meal. Slapping a PBJ or a bowl of cereal in front of your kids is like saying you hate them. Even worse is the get-it-yourself meal. What kind of mother would make her able-bodied kids fend for their own meals? (Me!)

  • Start your supper meal early in the day. Never wait until 5:45 to dig frantically through the freezer praying you have something, anything, you can quick-thaw. Perfect moms would never procrastinate that long to start dinner, no matter how frenzied the day was before that.

  • Only shop with a carefully crafted list. Any deviation is stealing from your future and shows a gross lack of character.

  • Always be consistent. Kids thrive on consistency, and perfect moms will always make the home consistent. No variables whatsoever. A well-oiled machine with perfectly trained children who always pick up their trails without even being reminded. A stinky sock or paper out of place is an anomaly.

  • Keep a perfectly clean house and manicured yard. A messy house is a surefire sign of a messy mind. (I'm trying!)

  • Never let your kids act like those kids at the store/restaurant/wherever it was you saw those kids before you were a parent and knew all about raising kids. (I've had to eat all my words concerning everything I said my kids would never do.)

  • Always go to bed with a clean kitchen. It's basically saying you hate your family if you let any mess linger overnight, or dare I say, even longer? The horror!

  • Treasure every moment. Even through sleep-deprivation, you should keep foremost in your mind that the moment is fleeting and speak calmly and with careful thought in every situation.

  • Always inspect your children's work to nurture their growth. No matter how tired you are, take time to check everything they were supposed to do, then help them to correct any mistakes. Remember: a well-oiled machine is the goal. Smile.

  • Get at least 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every single night. While newborns are allowed 3 weeks of adjustment to learn to sleep through the night, anyone older than that should sleep soundly through the night, never waking up. (If anyone has figured out how to do this, let me know.)

  • Drink plenty of water. You'll be dehydrated and running on fumes otherwise.

  • Save sugar and coffee for rare treat times. Sugar and caffeine are harmful stimulants that should never be relied on as a daily pick-me-up. (How many pots of coffee can I have each day? And I already raided the candy basket.)

  • Feed your family all organic vegetables and grass-fed beef. Plus, well-adjusted children know what kombucha is... and they love it.

  • Take time daily for rest and relaxation. A perfect mom knows how important self-care is. Bubble bath while sipping tea? A dip in the pool while the children are perfectly behaved and running the well-oiled machine so you can take a few minutes to refresh yourself?

  • Build up your mind through stimulating reading and self-help books or podcasts. A perfect mom doesn't zone out on a T.V. show or Facebook. She is aware that those activities carry no eternal benefit and is mindful to make every moment count.

  • Don't ever use screens as a babysitter. Screens are harmful, addictive devices that will alter your children's brains and stunt their growth. Perfect moms will have the energy to deal with 1, 2, 7, or 15 kids all at the same time while keeping the house in perfect order and helping each child grow their minds through non-screen activities.

  • Take time for arts, crafts, and hobbies daily with your children. A perfect mom knows how important these activities are to growing perfect children. (I have a hard time watching a mess in the making. I'm working on that. It's much easier for me to face the disaster after the fact and deal with it.)

  • Always look your best. Make-up, real clothes, a bra, shoes (cute shoes, though), hair done, showered. Sloppiness is a sign of laziness, which is evil. A perfect mom does not dabble in anything evil.

Okay, you have to know I'm joking with all this. While all these things are points I try to do for our family, I fall short all the time.

You know what? My kids are fine.

We have ups and downs as a family. Some days are great, some need apologies at the end. We have joys and trials, laughing and anxiety, fun and work, good attitudes and bad attitudes, some cleanliness and some messes, some things are a breeze and some are very hard. Sometimes life is great, and sometimes it's falling apart.

There are no perfect moms!

Anyone who seems to be is falling apart somewhere else. There's nobody that has every piece of life in perfect order.

I'll always try to be better where something needs improvement, but I'm not going to wallow in mom guilt over all the ways I could be better.

I'm not perfect, and that's just fine.


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