The mom guilt is heavy this morning. And here's the coffee cup that is collecting my tears this morning over it.
Everywhere I look at home, I see housework and projects that should have been done, or just need to be done regularly and aren't.
At my shop, there's another load of guilt from that work I'm trying to finish.
I should have signed up Kal for tennis. It started last Monday.
When does the school band start? Sometime in July? Probably next week? Have I missed that, too? I know Kal wants to be in it, and we think it would be good for him.
I should have helped Kal and Kara make some pillows to sell in a friend's garage sale this weekend. She invited them to contribute their crafts.
It's almost unbearable to hear the disappointment from my own children when I forget, yet again, to do something for them I wanted to do. Or the day is so full of appointments, I cannot fit one more thing in it.
My children are growing up. I just want to participate in life with them.
I'm never as available as I want to be for my family and friends.
I used to go pick strawberries and blueberries every summer, then make more jam than I could possibly use and give most of it away. That remembrance came to mind as I chomped away at the contents of the $2.99 carton of blueberries from Kroger.
Time to reset my thinking for the day:
Jesus didn't heap all this guilt on my head.
Time can't be captured, just enjoyed.
There's a time to work and a time to play.
Everyone gets the same 24-hour day. We can only do so much in that time, and part of it is for sleeping.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. All the things God wants me to do, that is. Heaping too much on my plate is my fault. Time to flick off a few things that suck more life out of my family and me than they give.
Though I haven't been able to do everything with my kids that I've wanted to do, I haven't ruined them for life. We do have our fun, we have work to do, and we share plenty of laughs.