We, that is to say, I, am painting the kitchen cabinets. I'm good and fast at painting, but I hate it. I imagine it's one of the punishments in the levels of Hell.
White paint is cheaper than a new kitchen, so that's what we're doing until we have the new kitchen fully funded.
Paint cabinets like a pro:
Take off all the doors, handles, and hinges. (I only took off the handles because they were easy.)
Thoroughly clean every surface to be painted. (I cleaned every surface... months ago when we moved in.)
Lightly sand every surface for best paint adherence. (Not doing it. This is just to tide me over until we have a new kitchen.)
Paint with the proper type of paint, carefully brushing in the direction of the grain. (I found the trim paint from moving. Looks like enough there. Slap, slap, slap!)
Apply 2-3 coats of paint until every surface is evenly covered. Dry thoroughly between coats for 2-4 hours. (I'm reapplying as soon as it's dry to the touch; I'm sick of this.)
Apply a top-coat to seal in the finish. (I just don't care enough.)
Attach handles and hinges, then re-hang the cabinet doors. (Nothing to re-hang since I left it all up there and made a slight mess of paint on the hinges. I only have to like these cabinets from far away. BH&G isn't coming anytime soon to do a story on my house or kitchen.)